Friday, October 21, 2011

I can do it all by myself...

Miles is growing so fast, it makes me sad to see how independent he is.   Don't get me wrong I want him to do for himself, but the bigger he gets the faster the time goes (I know that doesn't sound right, but life seems to only speed up as they grow).

I struggle with the desire to add to our family, but I realize that I have limits as a mother.  I know that I can not  emotionally or physically have more babies (I hemorrhaged after Miles and dealt with a wicked case of post partum).  Seeing Miles get bigger is just a painful reminder that my baby days are over. (i think) 

Watching the boys grow and change is a privilege, seeing these beautiful beings I created and carried becoming their own little person, is the most humbling thing.  Mostly because they seem to mirror all my bad behaviors, and I can see the problems they are going to have the older they get. 

Looking into the future and thinking about the life they have ahead of them, always makes me want to cry...

My feet don't touch, but if you try and help me I might bite you!


Catherine, trying to keep him from eating it (at least we steered him towards the grass)

1 comment:

Julie Barnes said...

Awe, I totally know what you mean. We are not planning to add to our family, either. AND watching these little boys grow reminds me of how determined and strong willed I was as a child. Your little boys are just SO cute!!